Wednesday, June 10, 2015

"Come unto me...."

This was a month like no other.  Let's start from the beginning.
The dads get a hoot out of putting these two together and seeing what their reactions are.  It started out that Danny would be the entertainment, kicking and hitting everything.  This is how it has ended on several occasions.
After an adventure trying to find parking and waiting in a line a mile long for tickets we arrived at the Rio Tinto Stadium to watch the national rugby game.  It was fun to get out as a family, but I don't think the kids enjoyed it as much as we did.  You can kind of see that in the picture :P
It was also interesting to be at a game where Ryan was not the most knowledgeable person there.  We are going to have to brush up on that.

Mom got tickets for the Payson Temple Openhouse.  It was beautiful and Celecta enjoyed riding Grandpa Dixon's shoulders almost the entire time (despite my efforts to relieve him).  She also now knows who the angel Moroni is.  It was an overall good experience.
Danny went through a phase where he put his hands on his head quite frequently.  It happened when he was excited or mad or happy.  I'm not sure what caused it, but it sure was cute and I'm sad it stopped.
This trip down to Orem was quite different than any other we had ever experienced.  In fact, no other trip to Orem will ever be the same.  This is an excerpt from my journal, "Saturday night was terrible.  Ryan and I decided to watch a movie together after we got back from the Gees.  My mom and dad didn't get home until I had started the movie.  I didn't even see my mom, but I heard her.  My dad joined us at the table.  Everything seemed normal....I went to bed and the movie was going through my head... I had only been laying down for about a half hour when Ryan came into the room and asked me if I had heard my dad call 911.... I rushed upstairs to see what was wrong to see my dad standing next to my mom on her bed. She had just had a spasm and had stopped breathing and her pulse had stopped.  My dad called 911 because he had panicked (regardless of my mom's request to just let her go if her heart stops).  The paramedics came and got a pulse going and then they took her to the hospital.  Ryan was in shock while they were here and I was an emotion words can't describe.  They went to the hospital and we worked on contacting people.  Dad texted us updates.  Camille and Elaine and Tyler came.  Devin got our phone call, but Patrick didn't.  I thought for sure since the Cardiac Arrest didn't happen until my dad went to bed instead of hours before while we were watching the movie that she would pull through.  Apparently she had different ideas though." 

This is an excerpt from Dad's account, "'They let us into her room and she looked at peace. Within minutes she went into cardiac arrest. They got a pulse briefly before arresting again. They ushered us out of the room. After some time I got the distinct impression to ask them to stop CPR. Celecta Dixon Moss passed through the veil at 6:25. WHAT A WIFE A MOTHER A CHILD OF God!'"

I never expected this to happen.  Even though she had a heart condition she was always telling us that her grandma who had it as well lived to be 90.  Not days before my mom's passing I was talking to my sister-in-law about how I didn't know what I was going to do without my mom for a year and a half while they served a mission in Michigan.  Now she was gone for probably 50 years until I pass through the vail.  What was I to do without my mom... the peace and comfort she brought to my life was I thought to be irreplaceable.  How was I supposed to be a mother to my children without the perfect mother to guide me?  
It was a bittersweet reunion we had that week.  It was a nice distraction from the loneliness we felt for my mother.  The kids were a blessing on many accounts.  Their happiness brightened a day that would have otherwise been dark and dreary.
During our time with Devin and Mercedes we went to the children's Curiosity Museum at Thanksgiving Point.  It was good fun!

Celecta now loves to read her books to Danny.  I rarely get a picture of all three of them together.
I was a little slow getting back on my feet after the Memorial Service of my mom so we spent the week at my dad's with the girls.  Celecta loved the constant companionship as usual and was just as silly as ever.

Playing in the back on the slide.
Megan came up to our place to help out a few times and taught Celecta how to play hide and seek.

In the end I have been blessed to see the Lord's timing in my mom's passing.  It definitely has not been easy, but my family has come closer to each other and I think we all have felt the cleansing power of the atonement as we turn to Christ.  Not because we have sinned, but my mom passing on has given us more motivation than ever to be better people.  The other aspect of the atonement has become much more real to me, too.  That is the aspect of Christ lifting our burdens.  There is no way to survive the loss of a loved one without the help of the Savior.  He has never been so real to me before.  Laying the pain of losing one of my best friends before his feet has been something I have had to learn, but it has been worth it.  I know He lives.  I know my mom has seen him in the flesh and is working on the other side to help bring forth his work and I have felt her presence.  I know I can live with her again as long as I do my part on this earth and live to my fullest potential.  I have never been more grateful for family.  The support and love of my husband and children as well as my father and siblings have been vital to my survival.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your mom's passing. I've felt peace as well, though it's still painful. You mom is amazing and I also know she's still out there even though we can't see her. *hugs*